Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
