my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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