I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
