people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Its about making memories worth repressing
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
this boner is exhausting
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
we're making bets on your personal life
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
