Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
