operation have a gay friend backfired
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
