playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
