Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
