This girl is more easily done than said...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
