Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
