Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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