also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
