My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So much rum. So many feels.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
