This dress was meant to end up on your floor
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
