Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
