just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
