Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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