We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
