Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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