fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
