i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
