It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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