My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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