I'm pants shitting drunk right now
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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