This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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