Non-Jews are for practice
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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