we have officially lost it.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
