So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
