My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
