Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
where does the pee come out of this thing
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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