we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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