i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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