..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
