I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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