You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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