I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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