Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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