If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
