I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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