I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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