So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
