he shaved USA in his pubs
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
