guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
