I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
