Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
