It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
