break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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