when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
