okay pat passed out under dana's car
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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