Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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