They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
