You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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